Pearls of Wisdom
How do we learn to forgive people for what they've done in our lives, maybe not to us directly, but affecting us nonetheless? Some say it is difficult to accept and forgive someone, maybe acceptance and forgiveness exists on several different levels, each unique to the accepting and forging individual. What gets in the way of this process, is it the Ego and its inflated sense of itself? Possibly Pride? Anger? Sadness?
Maybe the first step is to accept that there is very little that we can control in our life, we can't control the temperature outside, can't make summer come any faster, or rewind a sunny day when nighttime approaches. We certainly can't control other people, that is always detrimental when we try to do that, in fact parents can't even control their children, they can only guide them. All people.. who walk on this Earth will one day die, we can't control that either, it is inevitable. When we give up the fight for control, we can feel a weight leaving our bodies, we can feel lighter and happier. Just the word control has a negative within it, control is the "con", the illusion that we are in charge of our lives. How can you control what will happen tomorrow when tomorrow has not even happened yet and how can you control the past, you can't re-write it or even physically visit the past. This a not a depressing or anxiety-inducing notion, it is a freeing and enlightening concept but only if we stop playing the game of "control".
Forgiveness, is not entirely different, we must realize that we are fallible creatures, we, the humans of this Earth are not perfect, never were, never will be. In fact, there is a story I like to use when talking with people about forgiveness, I tell then to try and find someone who has not hurt someone else or been hurt themselves, I tell the client to work on it for a week and to try very hard, ask around, ask family, friends, even strangers and see if you can find someone who has not hurt someone or been hurt themselves, they never find anyone, not one person, ever. How can we hold on to that feeling of being hurt, it is a feeling of life, it is part of the human condition, what we do and what is done to us, it is natural. For if we glided though life with no problems that would be considered perfection, and perfection does not exist.
Nuggets of Dirt
Cory Ian Shafer